Good evening gentlemen. Thank you for inviting me, and for including my paper at this conference. I will have to put it bluntly, even though some of you may not agree. Theories often die a hard death. HARUNA KOJIMA IS NOT SEXY !
Our current fanboy paradigm theory states that AKB48 member, singer, model, actress and “photobook” author Haruna Kojima has obtained the status of being a “sexy” lady. I am here tonight to refute that claim, using inferential statistics, stochastic modeling and good old fashioned eye rubbing.
First let me lay out what is known as a “Null” hypothesis: My null hypothesis states that Miss Kojima is NOT sexy. Can you reject this hypothesis? Yes? … you say? Well, how about with 90% certainty? … what about with 95% certainty … what about with 99% certainty?
Would you still reject this hypothesis if it were a one-tailed test? … oh yeah? … what say you to a two-tailed test?
How may “degrees of freedom” does one need to reject this hypothesis? I ask you to calculate the “z” statistic for yourself if you find me in a TYPE II error.
Ok, time for the “Calculations” … please watch the slideshow … while I scribble …
(Denny making marker whiteboard squeaking sounds here)
CONCLUSION: The Null Hypothesis CANNOT be rejected. In fact, I can’t remember what it was … statistics … something … something … it has actually been rather hard to concentrate on stats lately … forget my paper, I have a slide show instead …
I am also wishing Kojima-san a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY on April 19th.
Will this be her last birthday with AKB48? Please enjoy my special Haruna Kojima “Retrospective” of some of her great modeling moments!
… talk about your stochastic modelling!
Kojima History: Remember the time Haruna dressed up like Johnny Depp (“Jack Kojima”) and tried to kiss Yuko? Here is Kojima-san as you have never seen her in an old “Danso” sketch from AKBINGO.
Starlight: KojiHaru — born April 19, 1988 in Saitama Prefecture, Japan.