Denny Sinnoh's "Akihabara Starlight"

Archive for the ‘HALF-FICTION’ Category

Maple Forest Seeks Rice Paddy

My employment consists of processing purchase orders and maintaining the application records for an international agricultural chemical fertilizer company. Any writing I do at work is “technical writing” which must be very precise. It is not very creative, and there is no place for humor. Also, the science, journals, technical monographs and trade papers I am required to read are informative, but very dull. I seldom entertain myself at the computer. That’s why I like to occasionally be creative and post articles to WordPress! I also like to read YOUR blog during my lunch hour my dear reader. Your posts are a nice break from the otherwise beaten down day.

Although my trade journal reading is usually mundane, I am sometimes surprised by some of the advertisements and listings in such publications. (The embellishments that a seed drill manufacturer will make for the power of their brand of planter are often highly amusing.)

Last week, I was looking through the “personal interest” section of a periodical and I saw a personal ad that read “Maple Forest seeks Rice Paddy”.

It reads:

Lonely middle-latitude temperate mixed forest, dominantly sugar maple, with minor mixed oak, beech and birch species. Prosperous and stable broadleaf-deciduous biome, but open to new growth patterns. Seeks intimate relationship with recently cultivated tropical or sub-tropical Rice Paddy. Intensive land use relationship is desired. Interested in long-term lowland staple crop production. Possibility of supplemental vegetable growth a plus, but not required. Aerial infrared imagery of my peak vegetation production index is available upon request. Serious inquires only.

(Ahem.) Yes. I think there are some logistics and some harsh climatic realities which must be addressed for such a relationship. I think that if the Maple Forest does find the right Rice Paddy it would probably be a lasting relationship, perhaps because of the forces working against them. Monocots and dicots often make a nice flowering biome, and their pairing may work well.  Maple Forest might feel that he does not have a lot in common with some of the local needle-leaf evergreen forests.

Too many woodland biomes are not long-term compatible, and land cover disruptions are very common. The system seems to be set up against a Maple Forest.  I do so sympathize with the Maple Forest. It is hard for a mixed hardwood forest to find a nice land cover to enjoy biomass production with. He is correct to hold out for an angiosperm environment, even if such environment is from a different climate. Monocots and dicots often make a nice mixed biome, and the pairing might work well.  Some of the regional needle-leaf evergreens complain about it.

Timber land relationships are tough in the modern world, even with the use of the latest Forestry apps and websites. Yes, you have those forests who say they are broad-leaf deciduous, but it turns out they have way too many coniferous species mixed in. The truth is – I don’t care for the cones and needles myself — so I can see why the Maple Forest would be looking elsewhere for biomass. Too often, a woodland will claim to be “upland forest” but will turn out be prone to flooding.  Some of these older woods have serious issues. Many cannot overcome their history of being dominated by some lower-value swamp oaks. Many of these single woodlands are “second growth” who have been clear-cut way too many times. Plus, no one wants to have to put up with the invasive species left from all the previous biomes.

I can see why he would love a Rice Paddy. Their lush dark greens. earthen dams, and irrigation sluices balanced. A softer, welcoming surface. Welcoming, and permeable to depth. The shoots of growth tease her ample production. The power and intensity of her grain.  She is fertile alright. The Maple Forest will wonder: How does she produce so much biomass calories per acre? To the Maple Forest, she puts all those other companion environments from his past to shame. Other forests might tease, and say that he has “paddy fever” but Maple Forest should just shrug that off.

The stillness of her floodplain when at the peak of production is a thing of beauty.  And best of all – she can be double cropped. Oh yeah. Sometimes triple-cropped in a warm year. Wait until the Maple Forest finds out she can support some supplementary aquaculture. The high carbohydrate grain, the mixed vegetables and tubers between fields, and the protein of aquaculture.  God, they are the best. Can a land use be more fantastic than a subtropical Rice Paddy?

That Maple Forest will wonder where Rice Paddy has been all of his century-long growth.  The Rice Paddy is everything that the Maple Forest has ever wanted … and all that he never knew that he wanted. She has awoken xylem flows within his tree trunks that he thought would never flow again.

The Rice Paddy may have to adjust to some of the Maple Forest’s seasonal changes however. They probably first met in early or mid-summer when the Maple Forest is at his most lush and full,  open leaf condition. I will bet that a Rice Paddy has never seen a Maple Forest release its “whirly seeds” on a blustery summer’s day.

His fall color exuberance is followed by the long dormant period, with no leaf production. She might misunderstand. This may be difficult for a subtropical land use to adjust to at first. But don’t worry dear Rice Paddy. This is just the type of cold climate he is adapted to. Your Maple Forest is just taking some down time to harden, and sweeten. He will be back in spring with a gush of syrup production. You just be ready for that, when his sap starts to flow.

Sweet. Yeah, she is going to receive the sweet. So much she might not know what hit her.

Maple Forests and Rice Paddies are just made for each other! Their differences compliment rather than contradict each other. Some of the other biomes will be bitter and jealous of course. Some will laugh at Maple Forest, insult him, and say that he has a subtropical land-use “fetish”. Some landscapes will be envious of Rice Paddy and say she is only after the creation of a new ecotone. Don’t listen to the jealous regions you two. Make the world right for yourselves.

Just keep loving each other kids. Er .. I mean environments.

Starlight: Jesus – look at the time. I have to get back to work … and how did these web pages crop up?

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Denny watches a pretty girl pee.

Readers: This very cool and funky song is merely my suggested music track for you to listen to as you read this post. I mean no disrespect to Mariya. Click and enjoy. Which reminds me …

Whoa. I have not posted on WP for a long time. I am in SO MUCH trouble at work. I need to get caught up on all these agricultural fertilizer reports. Yup, I gave up blogging for a while. I have been  a good employee — keeping my nose to the Moonstone. Look, I am even bringing work home where I can do company work on my own PC!

The work is very boring. and I get distracted so easily by these pop ups. Wait — this looks interesting.  An ad for “KornHub”? Well it must be agricultural then, so I will just click over there and … OH MY GOD!!!

Wait — this is interesting. I don’t usually look at video sites like these (Denny coughs). Besides, there is probably something agricultural in here. Ok … typing “nitrogen” into the search box … and …  Hello.

It says if I click there, I can watch a sexy Asian lady urinate. Oh, no no. I could NOT do that. Really. Not my thing. Look I am not a prude, but I draw the line at bodily functions. I could never watch that. That would be perverted. True, I know that it is only “Number 1” … but still.  I am NOT a pervert. These videos are not for me. I don’t have any fetishes.

Besides, although men’s bodies are disgusting, ladies are perfect. Women’s bodies are beautiful, fragrant works of art.  (Denny momentarily loses touch with reality). Pretty girls don’t PEE! Their little hoo-hoos don’t really make that bad stuff  do they? (Denny in denial) How could this video even exist?

I’m NOT going to watch this!!!

Uh … maybe … unless … maybe YOU want to look, my dear Readers … er .… I mean … this one time would not hurt could it? If you say that it is OK … watching a pretty girl take a pee, I will do it. That does not make me a bad person, right? Right? 

OK then (Denny exhales), here goes. CLICK.

Huh …you know, these urinal-on-the-floor-toilets always seemed weird to me. Japan is otherwise so highly technological – so why is it that some basins look like a hole in the floor? … and OH! … There she is. 

I think she likes me, she looked right at me and smiled. So pretty. Whoa … the panties are down … uh … hoo-boy … well, that answers the “hairy or shaved” question. Mystery solved!.

Wow — she IS vert cute.  Hmmmm … so beautiful in there ... so interesting … she seems like she has good balance. I wonder what led her to film this?

OK, this event should start any minute. (Denny watching, waiting).

It is always entertaining to see up a nice lady’s hoo hoo. There are all these wonderful grooves and folds. Fluids reflecting and refracting.  So Interesting … so very interesting.

Alright … gunna happen soon … (Denny glances at watch).

You know, you can find a lot of meaning, and answers to the big questions in the universe looking in there … I know you will think it strange … but you know what? I think I just saw the answer to a quadratic equation problem that I never finished back in 7th grade math …

… Hmmmm  … still waiting here. It is a nice view and everything, but nothing is happening.

Ha. Penny for your thoughts, dear girl. She is smiling, but she should be thinking about running water. It’s gotta start any second now …

Uh … still waiting. (Denny’s mind wanders) Gee, I wonder how many miles I put on the Volkswagen last week. Darn it — I should go check … I think I am due for an oil change … and OH MY there it goes!!!

So …

Uh huh … OK … right … OK … so … so that is what it looks like. Ahem.

Starlight: I really do need to get back to work.

This is a photo of the famous Kegon Falls in Japan. What?

Today’s Guest Blogger: Miss Yuki Kashiwagi on “How to avoid groin injuries”.

yuki article tumblr_o39jk0H7w21tqs33yo4_1280

I’ve been feeling the aging pains again today. Instead of a music video, I have asked AKB and NGT48 member Miss Yuki Kashiwagi to fill in. I have translated her article below:

yuki article tumblr_o39jk0H7w21tqs33yo3_1280

Next time she will tell us how to avoid wrist injuries.

Yuki begins:

“Having had strained muscles during my onstage, I can tell you that there is no injury that creates more problems in most aspects of sports or dancing. You sometimes have no clue just how much these muscles were used or abused until you are significantly injured. It can keep an Idol out for weeks while it heals.

I encourage flexibility in the groin area. Stretching is absolutely required, as well as some regular adductor strengthening. Warm up by stretching the groin muscles before exercising. Stretching can increase your range of motion and reduce stiffness and pain. It is also important during the cool-down phase of exercise when your muscles are warm. Increase the intensity and length of  your exercise program gradually.

AKB48 Yuki Kashiwagi Love Yukirin Stretching

As your fitness level improves, you will be able to do more intense dancing without injury.

Wear supportive, well-cushioned shoes for running, aerobics, and walking. A good warm-up is very important: I suggest some stationary cycling, groin stretching, sumo squats, side lunges, and some kneeling pelvic tilts

(Denny edit: Um … I had to look up “kneeling pelvic tilts”)

Strength-building exercise machines should be part of your regular routine. I like ball squeezes. I often use different-size balls, concentric adduction against gravity, cable/elastic standing adduction, or the seated adduction machine.

Use a slide board adductor used with the slide board forward, then the slide board with simultaneous adduction. I spread my legs and bring both together at the same time. Also one-legged lunges are part of my routine.

(Denny’s edit: Yukirin, … we are talking about PREVENTING injury, right?)

Even when not-working out, you can still take preventative measures in your everyday activities. Drink extra water, especially in hot or humid weather. This can help prevent muscle cramps or stiffness.

(Denny’s edit: I can’t tell you the problem I have with stiffness in the morning.)

Use a step stool when reaching for high objects you silly. Try not to stand on chairs or other objects. Never climb stairs with both hands full. Do not strain to lift or carry objects. Get help carrying heavy or awkward objects. I find it easy to get a helper guy to carry my stuff. They are always so enthusiastic!

I hope I have been helpful! Wouldn’t you rather put in some time preventing injury rather spending time backstage waiting for it to heal?”

yuki results

Love, Yukirin – x o xo : )

Thanks Yukirin! Hey, you know when I heard that you were going to be in NGT48, I thought it was a new type of SPORTSCAR!  

Ha. … Ha … wait .. Oh, don’t tell me I’m the only one who thought that …

Starlight:  I would work out “Everyday” if it was with Yuki : )

Could Denny go 24-Hours without being a sarcastic jerkwad?

I will bet that a lot of you have made “New Year’s Resolutions”. Here we are a couple of weeks into 2016,  and I would not be so surprised if many have not already given up their resolutions.

My challenge for this new year? I  will try not to speak so negatively about others. (Even if they are employed as managers and directors in the recording industry.) … um … er … Darn, I almost broke my vow already …

Look, I am not very religious…

Comedic director Mel Brooks once quipped “I’m not very religious, but I AM very Jewish.” I feel the same way as Mr. Brooks, except that I will add that I am not Jewish. The best I can do for you is offer up a little “deli wisdom” once in a while.

Today, I want to share this video narrated by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin.  He makes some very good points about speaking fairly when talking about about other people. To paraphrase: He says that just because what you have to say about someone is TRUE does not make it morally right to say … especially if it might harm that someone.

Could I go 24-hours without bad-mouthing someone? … and what if someone brings up the topic of record industry weasels and their lawyers?

Well, better I should hold my tongue.

sandwich_tongue

Kosher beef tongue on rye.

Starlight: I wonder if they have tongue at my local deli?

Image

Iwasa Misaki prays that Denny will return to WordPress

wasamin pyays

I have to say that do I miss writing about her and fanboying all over her. The good news is that Wasamin will have a new solo record out this month. She will also have a full solo concert on January 6th. I cannot be there … but if there is a CD, I will buy it. If there is a DVD I will buy it.

Denny’s fantasy: I went to a downtown Chiba karaoke bar with Wasamin and we rented a private singing-room so that we could compete against each other.  Sing that funky music Chiba-Girl …

Wasamin got me very drunk on Sapporo, and she was pretty good at convincing me to start blogging again. Actually I did not need much convincing. I will blog/talk to anyone who will listen about the glorious Miss Iwasa. 

Also, Misaki-san can be a little intimidating after she has had a few:

wasamingetsserious

“Don’t make me have to get ROUGH with you, Mr. Sinnoh”

Starlight: Note to self — Never challenge Iwasa Misaki to a karaoke battle. 

 

Denny’s road trip:

070414-2015-bmw-k1600gtl-f

I would really love to go on this trip. I would like to ride a BMW touring motorcycle all around each of the Great Lakes, down the St. Lawrence and then back again.

I would like to visit the recreational boating areas, the mining towns, the industrial ghost towns, the small towns, the larger cities.

viewgreatlakessatmap

The trees, the rocks … the aromatic lake water all call to me.

Beech? Or are you Birch? Son-of-a-Beech, my allergy Doctor told me I’m allergic to Maple pollen. What? I grew up with the Maples!!! I loved maple candy.

some_maple_candy_small

I will be all hopped up on maple. My teeth would rattle if not for this gum.

I can’t wait to feel the vibration of the road.

Rain or shine — I am riding.

Just look at this place.

Would you like to be my co-rider? (I mean you have to have your own touring bike.)

Some days we will stop and visit art galleries. Other days we will wrestle with the wildlife in the woods. (Just FYI BTW: The bears do not fight fair.) “Remember the time you bought that ridiculous T-shirt?” I will say. Some nights we will stay in hotels and drink aged Scotch Whiskey at a bar. Other nights we will camp out and drink instant coffee out of Styrofoam cups.

I need to get lost in order to find myself. I know that it is not a new thought, but I’m open to ideas.

Image

My 12-Step Iwasa Misaki Recovery Program

Oh that voice, that face, those kimonos.

I will have to admit — I (HEART) Iwasa Misaki.

Of course — if I like something too much that must mean that there is something wrong with it. Makes sense… maybe. True, my Iwasa Misaki addiction got to be so bad that I had to have an “intervention”. I have enrolled myself into a 12 STEP PROGRAM in order to kick my Iwasa-habit. Yes, it is my big announcement …

DSC_0686

The following is my 12-Step program to sober up to harsh reality.

iwasa misaki tumblr_nlwkz35Xcl1s82ar1o4_500

Oh, I’m going to need two more, dear girl.

Step One: First one has to ADMIT that one HAS a problem. I accept the fact that I have long failed to recognize my Wasamin problem.

misaki diappointed in me

I am a fanboy, and Iwasa Misaki is my oshi. I will finally admit, I had a hard time confessing it to Wasamin. Look at that impatient face.

Step Two: I believe that I must turn to “A HIGHER POWER” and ask for help.

Akimoto Yasushi, blog, Iwasa Misaki

Ok, a higher power … um … Mr. Akimoto?

Step Three: I will turn to our fellow men and women, particularly those who have ALSO STRUGGLED with the same addiction. I would use any help.

yes friends with hands

Yes, our fellow men and women — with the extra hands.

Step Four: I have made a LIST of the situations when I am most likely to listen to Iwasa Misaki. At the computer, while driving, while working, while fantasizing.

someone should write this down

Someone should write these down. Write something Iwasa …

Step Five: I will try to AVOID those situations … or put on a Todd Rundgren record instead. Oh, yay … the 70s … ugh.

keeping my hands busy

Yes, I will try to keep my hands busy. NOT going over to YouTube …

Step Six: I am ready to ACCEPT HELP friends give me. I will not make fun of other’s musical tastes, unless it is rap crap. 

tumblr_nmj8bzo0YW1snbnvmo4_1280

Back to metal I guess. Party on Garth, Party on Wasamin.

Step Seven: Continue to HOPE. I earnestly hope that OTHER MUSIC will help. Oh my Buddha, just no country music recorded after 1974.

mexican dancing misaki

Buenos Tacos, Senorita Misaki — Try some Mexican jumping bean music!

Step Eight: I have made a list of persons I HAVE HARMED and to whom I hope to appologize. (I think my wife is getting very impatient waiting for me out in the car.)

wasamin is angry

I don’t think I’ve ever seen her angry before: “But you look so cute when you get mad … come here you.”

Step Nine: I promise to DO ALL I CAN  to make those amends. Maybe cut my Google image Misaki searches down to maybe a few hours every day.

Iwasa Misaki img_0

It took me less than two hours to use this … er … I mean … find this! 

Step Ten: I will continue to make lists and REVISE them as needed. Oh yeah.

yes make some lists

I’m making notes, and a list … Still trying to read the notes …

Step Eleven: I am in turn willing to HELP OTHERS who may come to me in their hour of need with their own particular idol addiction.

yada yada yada

Selfies? No need to go it alone, Iwasa.

Step Twelve: … er… um …SCREW THIS … What? … No Misaki-san? … NO WAY!  … Forget it!

Iwasa Misaki fa2775ec

Starlight: I am outta here … on another Iwasa bender …

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