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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Pokémon Nicknames: Cottonee and Whimsicott

Oh Fujie, you are so whimsical!

Cottonee (in Japanese: モンメン “Monmen”) is a dual-type Grass/Fairy Pokémon introduced in Pokémon Black and White (Generation V). Prior to Pokémon X -Y (Generation VI), it was a pure Grass-type Pokémon. Cottonee  only evolves when exposed to a Sun Stone.  When it  evolves into Whimsicott (in Japanese: エルフーン “Elfuun”) it remains a Grass/Fairy dual type. Prior to X-YI, it was a pure Grass-type. (Source: Bulbapedia.)

Cottonee is basically a very enthusiastic boll of cotton, thus I like to give it antebellum themed names like “Eli” (for males) or “Whitney” (for females). “Cotton Gin” or “Ginny” are all appropriate names based on Eli Whitney’s invention. Names like “AuntieBellum” , “Mississippi” or “Delta” are also names keeping with the Cotton Belt of the Old South theme.

“Keep your Cotton Pickin’ hands off my Schwinn!”

The “Cotton Bowl” (not boll) is an important college football event in Texas. Dances called “Cotillion” are also characteristic of America’s deep south. These are important social events, and are associated with sorority women’s “coming out”. These formal dance socials are racially segregated of course, as black sororities have traditionally held their own debutante balls.

“Your Debutante knows what you NEED .. but I know what you WANT…”

Thus “Debutante” is another interesting Cottonee name. Of course cotton is “the fabric of our lives”. Somehow that has to be a name if you can get it down to twelve letters. “FabricOfLife” maybe?

You know who wrote the commercial jingle? The very underrated (as a songwriter) Zooey Deschanel. No one understands retro like me and Zooey. Ha! Now it will be stuck in your head all day!

I use completely different names for Whimsicott. My favorite is “Fujita” after the late Japanese tornado meteorologist Theodore Fujita. We owe the “Fujita scale”  of tornadoes to him. It is also appropriate because Whimsicott can use the move “Hurricane” which graphically is NOT a hurricane, as the game animation resembles a tornado. The name “Fuji” (after the apple) or “Fujie” might also be cute. Whimsicott’s Japanese name “Elfuun” — as in Elf Fun — would be a good name for a fairy-type.

What is the name for your whimsical ball of cotton fairy? Please comment.

Pokémon Nicknames: Lotad, Lombre and Ludicolo

“Yes, I would love to come visit you on your lillypad Haruka!”

From Bulbapedia: Lotad (in Japanese: ハスボー “Hassboh”) is a dual-type Water/Grass Pokémon introduced in the original Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire (Generation III). Lotad evolves into Lombre starting at level 14.

Lombre (in Japanese: ハスブレロ “Hasubrero”) remains a Water/Grass dual-type. Lombre can only evolve into the final Water/Grass form — Ludicolo (in Japanese: ルンパッパ “Runpappa”) when exposed to a Water Stone.

My favorite name for Lombre’s form is “Pedro” or “VOTE-4-PEDRO” after the famous t-shirts utilized in the Napoleon Dynamite movie.

Another reason to like the name “Pedro” is the character from those humorous  “South of the Border” billboards commonly seen on U.S. Interstate Route 95.

Oddly, the “border” in these billboards refer to the state border between North Carolina and South Carolina. The SOB complex is a typical regional “tourist trap” specializing in kitsch. Also, you can BUY fireworks there. It is illegal to LIGHT THEM, but state law says that it is legal to BUY THEM.

A name I like to use for Lotad is “CrunchyFrog” after the Monty Python sketch about “crunchy frog chocolates“.

Don’t drink the water — who knows what Lotad did in it! Ha.

OneTonOfMayo” is an alternative way of singing the famous Cuban ballad “Guantanamera” typically sung by Mariachi bands in Mexican restaurants. One ton tomato? Along that theme, various Mexo-kitsch names could be used.

Names like “Hat Dance”  after the Mexican Hat Dance that Ludicolo does.

These frogs are going to be eating some fish-chalupa tonight!

I thought that “LOL” might work for female Ludicolo. The text word “lol” is frequently used in social media exchanges. Speaking of social media — you better not use names like “Pepe” or “PepeTheFrog” as the internet has largely corrupted the original Boy’s Club character.

One fan who posted on the Name Rater’s site came up with “Lombrero” which is straightforward … and logical. (Always remember however that the Name Rater HATES YOU!). Another fan posted “Guacamole” which may be appropriate, as Ludicolo is Avocado shaped!

Fuchi Capesta!!! Sorry everyone! It must have been those re-fried Pokebeans!

I like the name “Cheech” for Lotad — after Cheech Marin from the 1970s comedy duo Cheech and Chong.

What is the name for your frog from “South of the Border”? Please comment!

Pokémon Nicknames: Dhelmise

Ahoy cousins! Aye, I hope yer not be afeared of the deep, as I recon me names for this ship’s ghost …

Ha – I bet I sounded just like one of those “Pirates of The Caribbean” movie characters. I think that they have a new movie … or something coming out … or recently. I really don’t follow that series. I heard it was going to be “Rated R” … because it is about pirates … and …  see … and pirates say “AHHRR” a lot … and hoo boy.

Dhelmise (in Japanese: ダダリン  “Dadarin”) is a dual-type GHOST and GRASS-type Pokémon introduced for the Alola Generation VII (source: Bulbapedia). Dhelmise is genderless, and does not evolve into or from any other known Pokémon. Basically, Dhelmise is the rusty anchor of a sunken ship, combined with the ships (steering) wheel — and covered in seaweed. One of its eyes appears to be a compass. (A full description from Bulbapedia is linked here.) Although Dhelmise is ghost and grass (seaweed) it is surprisingly not a WATER-type It can learn moves such as “Whirlpool”.  This is appropriate, as I see Dhelmise trying to pull foes down to a watery grave. Ha Ha — or as I should say — ARRR … Another odd characteristic about this Pokémon is that its signature ability is “Steelworker” which boosts STEEL-type moves by 50%. That makes sense, as an anchor is made of iron. Thus a good move set for this Pokémon should include Ghost, Grass, Water and Steel moves.

My favorite name for this ghost Pokémon is “Hard-To-Port“. I envision that this phrase was the last order the doomed ship’s captain gave, just before the vessel wrecked, sending all hands down to Davy Jones’ Locker. (No, not that Davy Jones, silly.)

Sailing-type names are cute. Do you know your port-side from your aft?

No, ya scurvy dogs —  I said “Fire the aft cannon — the AFT!!!”

Another fun nickname might be based on the old Village People song “In The Navy”  linked here.

When you think of sailors you think of the various nautical-themed tattoos that they decorate themselves with. Tattoos are really not my thing personally, but I still admire the art.

(Denny humming/singing):  “In the navy — Yes, you can sail the seven seas … In the navy — Yes, you can put your mind at ease … In the navy…”

Dhelmise may be hard for Alola adventurers to find.  A how-to video from YT is linked here — just don’t use a Quick Ball like that guy, because Quick Balls look stupid, unless your Pokémon is actually blue-and yellow in color. Don’t get me started.

So long for now cousins —  or at least “until the sea gives up its dead …”

Note to my Readers: Since my last post a couple of weeks ago, I have gone over a QUARTER MILLION views on this blog. Take THAT Dave Barry!

Pokémon Nicknames: Electrike and Manectric

I love electric-type Pokémon, so it is not so “shocking” that Electrike and Manectric are among my favorite all-time Pokémon.

From Bulbapedia — Electrike (in Japanese: ラクライ  “Rakurai”) is an Electric (only) type.  Electrike evolves into Manectric starting at level 26, where it remains an Electric-only type. Manectric ( in Japanese: ライボルト  “Livolt”) can evolve into Mega Manectric using the Manectite.

The heads on Electrike and Manectric look Egyptian to me. My favorite name for Electrike is “Tutankhamun“, “King Tut” or “Lil’ Tut“. I like to use “Cleopatra” or “Blue Nile” for females.

Female Manectric’s bouffant hair also remind me of the Bride of Frankenstein, so I also like “The Bride“.

The demands of a bride on her wedding day can be a little hair raising I guess. Here’s a clip.

I also like to use meteorological/lightening type names.

Manectric’s hair can be mined for related names. “HairRaising” etc.  My first level 100 Manectric from the original Pokémon Sapphire was “HerrEdison“.

You may be stimulated from the names of my other electric types. See these links for Pachirisu, Blitzle / Zebstrika, Togedemaru, Joltik / GalvantulaHelioptile / Heliodisk and  Electrode / Voltorb .

What is the name for your shocking little dog? Please comment!

Denny watches a pretty girl pee.

Readers: This very cool and funky song is merely my suggested music track for you to listen to as you read this post. Click and enjoy. Which reminds me …

Whoa. I have not posted on WP for a long time. I am in SO MUCH trouble at work. I need to get caught up on all these agricultural fertilizer reports. Yup, I gave up blogging for a while. I have been  a good employee — keeping my nose to the Moonstone. Look, I am even bringing work home where I can do company work on my own PC!

The work is very boring. and I get distracted so easily by these pop ups. Wait — this looks interesting.  An ad for “KornHub”? Well it must be agricultural then, so I will just click over there and … OH MY GOD!!!

Wait — this is interesting. I don’t usually look at video sites like these (Denny coughs). Besides, there is probably something agricultural in here. Ok … typing “nitrogen” into the search box … and …  Hello.

It says if I click there, I can watch a sexy Asian lady urinate. Oh, no no. I could NOT do that. Really. Not my thing. Look I am not a prude, but I draw the line at bodily functions. I could never watch that. That would be perverted. True, I know that it is only “Number 1” … but still.  I am NOT a pervert. These videos are not for me. I don’t have any fetishes.

Besides, although men’s bodies are disgusting, ladies are perfect. Women’s bodies are beautiful, fragrant works of art.  (Denny momentarily loses touch with reality). Pretty girls don’t PEE. Their little hoo-hoos don’t really make that bad stuff  do they? (Denny in denial) How could this video even exist?

I’m NOT going to watch this!

Uh … maybe … unless … maybe YOU want to look, my dear Readers … er .… I mean … this one time would not hurt could it? If you say that it is OK … watching a pretty girl take a pee, I will do it. That does not make me a bad person, right? Right? 

OK then (Denny exhales), here goes. CLICK.

Huh …you know, these urinal-on-the-floor-toilets always seemed weird to me. Japan is otherwise so highly technological – so why is it that some basins look like a hole in the floor? … and OH! …

I think she likes me, she looked right at me and smiled. So pretty. Whoa … the panties are down … uh … hoo-boy … well, that answers the “hairy or shaved” question. Mystery solved!.

Wow — she IS vert cute.  Hmmmm … so beautiful in there ... so interesting … she seems like she has good balance. I wonder what led her here?

OK, this event should start any minute. (Denny watching, waiting).

Alright … gunna happen soon … (Denny glances at watch).

… Hmmmm  … still waiting here. It is a nice view and everything, but nothing is happening.

Ha. Penny for your thoughts, dear girl. She is smiling, but she should be thinking about running water. It’s gotta start any second now …

Uh … still waiting. (Denny’s mind wanders) Gee, I wonder how many miles I put on the Volkswagen last week. Darn it — I should go check … I think I am due for an oil change … and OH MY there it goes!!!

So …

Uh huh … OK … right … OK … so … so that is what it looks like. Ahem.

Starlight: I really do need to get back to work.

This is a photo of the famous Kegon Falls in Japan. What?

Pokémon Nicknames: Drifloon and Drifblim

So if I grab then hold on — Drifloon will carry me away someplace?

Ahem. I have a lot of name suggestions and a lot of cosplay to share this week, so clear the hanger …

Drifloon and Drifblim were introduced in Generation IV (Diamond and Pearl.) These Sinnoh Region Pokémon are both Ghost-and-Flying types. From Bulbapedia:

Drifloon (in Japanese: フワンテ  “Fuwante”) is known as being one of the more “creepy” Pokémon because it supposedly captures unaware children.

From Pokémon HeartGold:  “It is whispered that any child who mistakes Drifloon for a balloon and holds on to it could wind up missing.”

From Pokémon Black 2: “These Pokémon are called the Signpost for Wandering Spirits. Children holding them sometimes vanish.”  

Drifloon evolves into Drifblim (in Japanese: フワライド “Fuwaride”) beginning at level 28.

I like to make my balloon a flying advertisement. I like to name a Drifloon “YOUR-AD-HERE” then send it out on the Wondertrade. Ha … because your fellow players want to know if they are missing out on advertising opportunities. ”Eat-At-Joes” is an old Looney Tunes running-joke reference.

Hey! You might even name your crazy balloon “Looney”!

Now some balloons are made of rubber. Some are made of latex. Go and have fun with those types of names. “Rubber Baby” is from the tongue twister:  “rubber baby buggy bumpers“.

Drifblim is more of a hot air balloon rather than a blimp, but I have used “blimp” type names such “Goodrich” or “NotAGoodyear”. Speaking of blimps, please enjoy this balloon cosplay:

My favorite name for Drifblim is “Zep Leddelin” as a play on the name of the famous rock band Led Zeppelin. Yes, zeppelins may be shaped differently than hot air balloons, but it is still fun.

Hindenburg” might be another example. Maybe “Branson” after the Virgin Co. CEO who is always trying to set hot air ballooning records.

PaperBalloon” might be a good historic reference to the Japanese Paper Balloon Bombs which were used in World War II. Japanese scientists figured out a way to launch a balloon  from Japan which would be carried by the westerly jet stream winds to North America. This resulted in the only civilian casualties on the mainland United States in WWII. A Sunday school teacher and his family were on an outing in the Oregon woods when his children – not knowing what it was –touched  it, and the explosion killed them all. In this case a balloon did take children away.

I also imagine that Drifloon may work as a weather balloon, so I name it “Radiosonde” after the instrument package carried aloft in a weather balloon. Of course, most UFO sightings are merely stray weather balloons.

I also suggest the names “Nadir” and “Nadar” as references in the history of remote sensing. Balloons were once used for military reconnaissance. In 1858, Gaspard Felix Tournachon (later dubbed “Nadar”) captured the first recorded aerial photograph from a manned balloon.

The word “nadir” is a photogrammetry term referring to the line to the ground directly below the remote sensing platform, and the center of the Earth. This term means that your balloon is right on top of things when you take your photo.

Drifblim trying to find the nadir point

“Blim” and “loon” remind me of “Bloom“, so one name might be “Bloomers” as in … ahem …a ladies unmentionables. “Buys -Ballots” is another meteorology term (despite how it sounds, it does not have anything to do with George Soros).

Then I thought of “Bloomberg” after the former mayor of New York City who – I am not making this up — tried to ban 32-ounce sodas from being sold in NY. The idea there is that consumers suck up too much of the liquid candy. Thus they need a government nanny to stop New Yorkers from becoming a bunch of fat, lazy, government dependent, entitled welfare cheats. Really, drinking too much sugary soda can really make one balloon up – ha ha – balloon up! …get it?

You might us “99 Balloons” or some variation, after that German commie’s hit single from the 1980s: “99 Luft Balloons“. 

Others? How about “Blimpie” — as in the name of a submarine sandwich company. “Up and Away” is a reference to the famous song by “The Fifth Dimension”.

Readers: This may be my last post for some time. I hope that I have provided something for everyone here!

What do you like to name your big purple balloons? Please comment!

Pokémon Nicknames: Rockruff and Lycanroc

A L O L A    C O U S I N S !

Cute little wolf-cub/puppy Rockruff (in Japanese: イワンコ  “Iwanko”) is a Rock-type Pokémon introduced in the Alola Region (Generation 6 ).

Rockruff evolves into Lycanroc (in Japanese: ルガルガン  “Lugarugan”) starting at level 25, where it remain a Rock-type. Lycanroc has two forms however. The Midday Form – when Lycanroc evolves in the Pokémon Sun game, and Midnight Form – when it evolves in Pokémon Moon. (Reference: Bulbapedia.)

I often like to give a Rockruff a “rock” type name from the rock and mineral terminology I learned in Geology 101. Names like “Silica”  are cute for a Rockruff, and I think it still works if you evolve it into the Midday-Form Lycanroc.

Names like “Granite”, “Mica” or even “Formica” are examples. You should choose “rough” type rock names, or rocks which are sandy in color/texture. You would not name a Rockruff “Obsidian” although that might be OK for the Midnight-Form of Lycanroc.

Ha! A nice geology joke!

A related name might be “Brownstone” after the type of apartment building condos which rich yuppies like to purchase and gentrify. Those in my generation may be tempted to name Midday Lycanroc “Steppenwolf“. Get your motor runnin’.  Or how about “Wulfie” which was what Mozart’s wife called the great composer in the film Amadeus. … (Denny sighs) … Oy.

The Midnight-Form of Lycanroc is a Werewolf of sorts. This form has a deep-red coloration which matches the bloodthirsty character of a were- beast. I named my first Lycanroc Red Moon, then another as Blood Moon. (An alternative name is “Luna Rossa”if you want to be fancy.) A “red moon” occurs during a lunar eclipse. A Blood-Moon (as in “The Blood Moon Prophesy”) is astronomically the same thing as a red moon, it just sounds scarier. Fortunately, the four blood moons in a row predicted by the Christian prophesy, came and went in 2015 … and yet there was no end-of-the-world apocalypse. Wow … I am so glad that I did not cash in my retirement account, and then exchange it all for lap dances and boom-boom rooms … and … yes … I can see that I digress once again.

Bloodlust” might be a good name for this horny red wolf. On this theme of werewolves, lycanthropes and moons you could name Lycanroc “Bad Moon” as in “A Bad Moon Rising. Hey … if you have the SHINY version of this Pokémon , you should name it “Blue-Moon”!

How about “Red Whine” or “Red-Blooded“? “Aunt Flo” might be another lunar-cycle name for female Lycanroc.

Ahem … oh yeah … I like to think that Rockruff is a playful wolf pup.

Oh yeah? Well the Japanese name for Rockruff is “I-wank-o” … so there.

Ha. You catch easily catch these low-level Rockruff and name them something silly. What would you do if you received a wolf pup named  “I-Poop-Rocks” over the Wondertrade?

One of my favorite Rockruff names is “Roofies”, but not for the date-rape drug utilized by frat boy jocks. Dogs say “roof!” as a bark – so a name like  “Roofy” is appropriate.

If you are going to sue about that bad night, maybe don’t use a dog as a lawyer.

There is the old joke about the guy who has a talking dog. He takes the dog to a vaudeville talent scout, and says that the dog can talk. The owner asks the dog: “What is on the top of a house?” The dog barks, and the man says “SEE … he said ROOF.” Next he asks: “What does sandpaper feel like?” and the dog barks again. “See ..he said ROUGH”. The talent scout is getting annoyed when the man asks the dog “Who was the greatest baseball player ever?” and the dog barks again. “See…” the dog owner says “He said RUTH … as in Babe Ruth!”. Of course the man and his dog are kicked out to the street, where the dog looks up and says “Maybe I should have said Stan Musial?

What is the name for your wolf-pup Pokémon? Please comment!

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