Denny Sinnoh's "Akihabara Starlight"

Posts tagged ‘Feminism’

Pokémon Nicknames: Wishiwashi

Wishiwashi (in Japanese: ヨワシ  “Yowashi”) is a Water-type Pokémon introduced in Pokémon Sun and Moon’s Alola Region (Generation VII). This Pokémon does not evolve, but it can change forms with its “Schooling Ability” — — if it has reached level 20. (Source: Bulbapedia)

One would have to agree that the sad-eyed fish is much more intimidating in the schooling form. However, if its HP is lowered to less than half during battle, it will revert to its regular form.

Wishiwashi is a small fish. I have used names like “Minnow-Soda” (after Minnesota) or “SS Minnow” (after the boat in Gilligan’s Island).

Healthy people eat a lot of fish, thus food or “diner” type names could be used. ChickenOfSea” after the popular brand of tuna.  “Starkist” is another tuna name.SorryCharlie” would work because of Wishiwashi’s sad face. Perhaps Wishiwashi is related to sardines — thus “Sardinia” after the Italian island. Name a female Wishiwashi “AuntChovey” after anchovies, which are part of a good anti-pasta. “Baccala”  is Italian salted cod — and the name of a Sopranos character.  I think he ended up swimming with the fishes. Of course don’t forget “Tartar“. Actually I eat very little fish these days. Fish is not fish to me unless it is breaded, deep fried and covered with cheddar and tartar sauce.

Wishiwashi looks like some type of smelt, so names like “Smelts” or “Smelt+Dealt” come to mind. The phrase whoever-smelt-it-dealt it” was common on my middle school bus. You could name one “Smells Fishy” and the like. It is always a hoot to give your fish a funny name, then send it out over the Wondertrade — “Denny sent over A-Fishy-Smell … take good care of A-Fishy-Smell”. Ha. That would be hilarious. It reminds me of the famous quotation about smelts:

“There are only two things that smell like fish … and one of them is fish.” 

One of my favorite fish names has always been “Odoroyo Fish” the GREAT 1980s cover song updated by the Japanese idol group Tsuri Bit. Previously, I had only named Barboach/Whiscash “Odoroyo”. Here is a coincidence:  I used to name Whiscash “WishyWashy” because of the “W” on its head — but that is another story.

Another fun fish name is “Mr. Limpett” after “The Incredible Mr. Limpett” movie. I loved all of Don Knotts‘ movies when I was a kid. For more nostalgia you could name a Wishiwashi “SplishSplash” after the Bobby Darin song.

1Fish 2Fish” is after the Dr. Suess’ children’s book “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish”. Of course Wishiwashi is blue, but if you name it “Blue Fish” most would not make the connection. Other bookish or “school of fish” type names are appropriate: “Schools Out” after the great Alice Cooper song … or “Back2School” after the Rodney Dangerfield film. Do you what is scary to a middle school student? These “Back to school” ads you see in print ads in JULY! It is like they are mocking the kids that school will start in just a few weeks.

Because of Wishiwashi’s sad looking face, I thought of “My-Sad-Clown“. Also Wishiwashi’s frown reminds me of actor Sean Penn’s grin. Penn, (perhaps the stupidest person on the face of the Earth, — unless you count Russell Brand) often makes that frowny-face of disgust in his movies.

Looks like Droopy does not like what is on the seafood menu …

I named the first Wishiwashi that I caught “Droopy” because of its drooping eyes. That Pokémon is one drooping, flaccid fish. That led me to “LakeFlaccid” as a play on the movie named “Lake Placid”. Droopy looks like he could use some Cialis. “Viagra Falls” is a related name, based on the famous Niagara Falls.

There is a phrase often repeated by feminists that goes “A woman needs a man … like a fish needs a bicycle.”

I strongly disagree with that view. Jewish author Dennis Prager’s has said (and I paraphrase) that men and women need each other. I agree with that. Certainly a man does not feel complete without the love of a good woman. A woman needs a man just the same. It is true that living alone would be better than getting into a bad relationship. However, to say that men and women do not need each other is … well … STUPID.

Will this fish end up old, alone and bitter?

Readers: I apologize for the lack of Pokémon cosplay photos for this post. It seems Wishiwashi is just too new for Pokémon otaku to have created full Wishiwashi costumes yet. All I could find were these fish-patterned panties. Sorry.

Forget the bike, sweetie I just took something to put me in “schooling form” all weekend!

What is your favorite fish name? Please comment!

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Pokémon Nicknames: Sunkern and Sunflora

Orville_Redenbacher_1979

Hey Orville: Is the term “old maid” for the un-popped kernels, maybe just a little misogynist?

Pokémon Nicknames: Sunkern and Sunflora: Sunkern (in Japanese: ヒマナッツ  “Himanuts”) is a Grass-type which evolves into Sunflora only when exposed to a Sun Stone. The level does not matter, but it remains a Grass-type only. (There is no known Mega-Evolution yet.)

sunkernandsunflora

The Japanese name “Himanuts” is actually a pretty cute name right there! … especially if you don’t plan to evolve it. Just keeping the “real” name of a Pokémon — but in a different language — may be a fun way to go about naming your Pokémon.The Japanese name for Sunflora is: キマワリ  or “Kimawari”.

From BulbapediaKimawari may be a combination of 黄 ki (yellow) or 吉 ki (joy), and 向日葵 himawari (sunflower). In French — the Pokémon is called Héliatronc, based on Helios. The German name Sonnflora is based on the German word Sonneblume.

sunkern ginka

Careful that you do not get inhaled, my dear kernel!

I always like to teach Grass-types HP stealing moves like Giga Drain. Seed Bomb is also one of my favorite attacks. I think a good name would be “CornHusker” after the Nebraska Cornhuskers college team. I have named them “Nebraska” as well, and I believe this will still fit even after Sunkern’s evolution into a sunflower, as sunflower fields are common in the Great Plains states. Ahem, there is nothing “corny” about this flower:

NebraskaCornHuskers

They raise them right in Lincoln, son.

Names like “Orville” or “Redenbacher” would be appropriate, especially if you like that brand of popping corn. “VeryPoppins” or some derivation, might be used. You can play around with these variations.

corn IMG_0099

My favorite name for Sunkern is Cornholio — a character from the old “Beavis and ButtHead” cartoon series. Of course,  Beavis WAS Cornholio – a transformation he would make after accidentally eating too much sugar.

"Would you like to see my bunghole?"

Quoted: “Would you like to see my bunghole?”

What? … you have never seen the show? What on Earth are they teaching kids in school these days?.

If you appreciate black humor, name a Sunkern “Bad Seed” after the famous novel and movie. (The difficult to watch clip is linked here.)

corn IMG_0097

Another dark-comedy name would be “RapeSeed” after the original name for Canola, commonly used in vegetable oil. Please do not be put off by the term Rapeseed.

An awkward moment at Mr. Name Raters house.

An awkward moment at Mr. Name Raters house.

If I may digress a little here, the term “Canola” was actually invented by the (Denny is not making this up)  “Rapeseed Association of Canada” in the 1970s. The “Can” part stands for Canada and “ola” refers to oil …

————————————————————————————————————————–

OW!! OW!!! OWW!!! (At the mention of the word “rapeseed” — a large mannish-looking woman ran to Denny’s seat at the coffee shop and knocked him on the head with a copy of the book Our Bodies – Ourselves”.

“You said RAPE …” the mammoth lady bellowed, then let out a blood curtailing scream “RAAAAAPE” —– then wacked Denny again.  

The perverse giant raged: “If you joke about rape – THAT MEANS YOU ARE A RAPIST!” —  WACK!!! (Hits Denny again with the book.) .. IST .. IST … IST  .. (Ringing in Denny’s ear)

“But .. I … “(Denny protests) … WHACK — the demonic behemoth clobbers Denny again … 

“Your culture is RAPE … RAAAAPE!!!” – the obese marginally-female trucker bellowed, “You showed a photo of a girl” — that’s RAAAAAAAAAPE!

“Wait, that’s not the same as …”  (Denny tries defending himself) … WHAP! — The acid-crotched mutant nostrils flared, then kicked Denny with its hoof.

“ALL MEN ARE RAAAAAAAPISTS !!!!” … the hideous banshee howled, hitting Denny again with the rolled up feminist manifesto, knocking him unconscious.

————————————————————————————————————————–

(Denny from his PokéCenter hospital bed): … if I may finally explain: The word “rape” in rapeseed comes from the Latin word rapum meaning “turnip”. (Denny holds head, rubbing bandages) … Turnip...  Turnip, rutabagas, cabbage, Brussels sprouts are all genetically related to rapeseed. Rapeseed is a close relative of mustard seed, and is an important crop which is processed for its vegetable oil.

Canola_Flower

Who would of thought that this little love flower would cause so much trouble? https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Canola_Flower.jpg#/media/File:Canola_Flower.jpg

The name change became necessary as sensitive American buyers balked at the word “Rape”. Thus we have Canola vegetable oil today.

Thank you for visiting me in the hospital. Oh, you brought me a present … (sound of Denny unwrapping paper). Oh .. my own copy of “Our Bodies / Our Selves” …  Thank You.

obo_cover_not_rolled_up

I do have two true stories about the OBOS book.

One time when I was 13, I was over at a friend’s house, and his older sister had left out a copy of OBOS. I started reading it, much to my friend’s disgust: “That book is for GIRLS” he teased. Yes, I was aware it was for girls, and also that damn good information was contained within. I had a religious upbringing, so of course I knew nothing about human sexuality. Jesus … I mean Buddha … I did not know anything about lady parts back then. Could it be that Penthouse magazine was lying to me about female sexuality? I needed to find out more of the truth.

“I am doing reconnaissance” I told him. I still remember this one chapter called: “In Amerika, they call us Dikes”. Ha. They used a K.

My second story also goes back to 8th grade. There was a big controversy at our Junior High school when one of the girl’s Health Ed teachers taught material from “Our Bodies – Ourselves”.  She told the 8th grade girls that they should – get his — regularly use a mirror in order to look up and examine the insides of their vaginas.

When word of this got out to the parents, they wanted to burn this young teacher at the stake. I remember biking past the school the night of the next PTA meeting. Every damn parking space all over the school and throughout the sports fields were filled with cars, and I saw people pouring in. Any other PTA meeting would have about six people attend, but this time the school rafters were shaking. Parents wanted this teacher FIRED. How dare she teach girls about their own bodies in a course on Sex Education? Of course, looking back, those parents were very ignorant. This was the early 1970s, however. Here in the Midwest we didn’t even know there was such a thing called a “clitoris” until 1971 — two years after the moon landing. These parents thought that sex was dirty, and any teenager who wanted to learn more had to be sinners. Obviously, OBOS was from the Devil.

Look, I am not the expert. I don’t have a clue as to how all those tubes and wires work up there. I DO know that women are the ones in charge of creating life and giving birth. All us guys have to do is just ejaculate, which believe me, is pretty easy. I STRONGLY support any education which encourages young women to stay healthy, and maintain their reproductive facilities. Let’s face it guys, the women have to be the mature ones in human reproductive relationships. Dicks are a dime a dozen.  Happy, healthy and educated young women are the world’s greatest resource.

At 13, I might not have known anything about what goes on up in there, but I would have been willing to learn. (This was light-years before the Internet kids.) Seriously, the hoo-hoo has got to be the world’s most interesting subject. In fact, I am of the opinion that a lady’s hee-hee is where the word “interesting” originates. (I’m running out of alternative terms, for you know).

Meowth disguised as Sunflora

Meowth in disguise as SunFlora: “Denny promises he’s never gunna say ‘pussy’ again”.

Oh .. The teacher? Well, I was just a dumb 13-year old. So what could I do to save the teacher? She got canned. Too bad, she was young, idealistic and was well liked. She was replaced by a girl’s gym teacher that looked like what a girl’s gym teacher looks like. (Denny holds head:) Ow… All that stuff in OBOS is pretty standard in Health Ed today. It would not be radical today, instead it is the norm.

Starlight: It would be another three years before I would get to look up into one of those beautiful love flowers.

LuvFlower”? Hey, that might be a good name for a Sunflora!

sunflower

What is the name of your corn plant or sunflower? Please comment!

 

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