Denny Sinnoh's "Akihabara Starlight"

Posts tagged ‘Gravure’

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HOT PIX YASUSHI AKIMOTO

HOT PIX YASUSHI AKIMOTO!

Remember: Always say "Good Idea Boss"

Remember ladies: Always say “Good Idea Boss”

AKB48 fans love to look at photobooks and blog photos of their favorite Idols.  “Gravure” photos are popular with fans, and those who might want to dream about their favorite members. I’m not in the market for those photobooks, but it got me thinking: Why is it that “The Boss” – Mr. Yasushi Akimoto has never  had his own photobook?

Maybe Akimoto-san needs to experience what the girls have to go through!  How would he like to have to pose for a gravure photo essay or underwear ads?  How would he feel about being ogled by otaku? What if there were music videos with him dancing half-naked on the beach?  … it would not be popular ..  but maybe he would realize what the girls have to put up with!

Yes, he can write lyrics, and he is a marketing genius, but how would he look in a two-piece?

Well, “Turnabout is fair play!!!”

Ok, Mr Akimoto-san… I’m imagining YOU taking off your shirt … and … and … it is not doing anything for me.

OK, fine.  Here is a short slide show.  If you can’t write funnier captions than me, you must not be trying.

For more about the Boss, see Akimoto-san’s CNN interview I had previously blogged about “Obama Rejects Keystone Pipeline, Yasushi Akimoto Exploits Girls” linked here.

Starlight: It took me six years to discover the Akimoto songs.

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God Bless You Mr. Vonnegut.

Bokonist Yuki Kashiwagi.

Bokonist Yuki Kashiwagi.

Hi Ho.

I love the J-Pop group AKB48.

I am not a science-fiction writer.

When I was in college, I loved the subversive novels of Kurt Vonnegut.  Merge these two interests together, and you the subject of today’s post!  Mr. Vonnegut is best known as the author of “Slaughterhouse Five” and “Breakfast of Champions” (the former was made into a great movie, the latter into a disaster of a movie).

So it goes.

Although I love AKB48 songs and music videos, in general I am not big fan of their photobooks.  I really do not understand the concept of “gravure” images of idols.

Hi Ho.

(Denny begins FARTING in order to explain). The photobooks may be OK for some young fans, but I am not about to buy, then look at photos of the AKB girls in their underwear and/or bikinis.  Bikinis are OK for a music video – but what would be the point of an “underwear book”?  (Denny begins TAP DANCING in order to explain).  If you like Gravure, fine.  It has its place. I’m probably not the intended market. (Continues FARTING and TAP DANCING). There is nothing wrong with this type of merchandise, it is just not for me.  If you like them, please enjoy.  Among other reasons, this type of collectible is too dangerous for an old man. (Denny FARTS). I prefer just watching the singing and dancing performances that I love. (Denny TAP DANCES).

I am not a science fiction writer.

I like being part of the AKB karass.  Example? I like watching Yuki Kashiwagi sing,  but I don’t want to ogle her in her bathing suit.  (Denny happily FARTS and TAP DANCES.)

See the Cat?  See the Cradle?

I love listening to AKB48 songs.  (Denny FARTS, TAP DANCES). But, why on Earth would a young man purchase photo books of women in underwear, or a simple bathing suit, when much more graphic images of women are readily available?

Hi Ho.

I loved “Breakfast of Champions”.

breakfast of champions book cover

I especially liked how the story was told with simple explanations and DRAWINGS.  There was powerful social commentary throughout.

boc handgun drawing

Excerpt from “Breakfast of Champions”. Text and drawing by K.V.

In “Breakfast of Champions” Vonnegut’s oft-used protagonist “Kilgore Trout” was a prolific, but disturbed science fiction writer.

Despite Denny’s attempts FARTING and TAP DANCING, certain WP bloggers in the “Hate AKB” Karass, had bad chemicals in their brains.  They began to compose hate blogs against him. (Denny gets hit with nine-iron).

Sometimes I wish I could write about Japan Culture with the clarity of Kilgore Trout.

boc drugs

Excerpt from “Breakfast of Champions”. Text and drawing by K.V.

(Denny tries FARTING and TAP DANCING.)

I am not a science-fiction writer.

Trout could not sell to major publishers, so his stories were sold to be used as “filler “ in pornographic magazines.  Despite the titles, the photos of the women in the magazine would not match the text of the Trout stories within.  As Trout was bad with organization and finances, he would often lose, or not even own a copy of his stories.  Kilgore Trout would go to adult (i.e. “dirty”) bookstores in search of a printed copies of his stories.  Trout would purchase the dirty magazines, not for the photos, but so he would have a copy of his own stories.  His older stories were published in the underwear books.

So it goes.

The dirty book stores often had display windows at street-level where they would place the “underwear” books.  The shops had to put the underpants books up front, so those passing buy would not be offended.  These underwear-and-bikini books remind me of the Idol gravure books popular with my fellow AKB fans. (Denny FARTS intensely. Denny TAP DANCES furiously).

So it goes.

“I see England, I see France, I see ladies underpants” K.V.

A label pasted on the cover of the photobook would promise however “Wide Open Beavers Inside” – as an enticement to potential buyers.  I don’t buy the photobooks. This was fully explained in the text of the book — but the origin of the term “Beaver” was a code word made up my photographers.  They would say “Beaver” when they could not shout the real word out on the street.

boc beaver drawing

Excerpt from “Breakfast of Champions”. Text and drawing by K.V.

Once, Trout tried to purchase the window-dressing (underwear) books, because he saw that they contained his missing stories.

I am not a science-fiction writer.

“You don’t want those, Grandpa” the porno-store clerk would tell Trout, trying to direct the author back to more “hardcore” books in back — which would have photos of women’s open vaginas.  Kilgore Trout would insist, because he wanted his stories, not the photographs.  Puzzled, the clerk would say “Enjoy yourself” as Trout would leave with his purchases.  Meaning that he hoped Trout found good images that he could masturbate to.

See the Cat? See the Cradle?

(Denny continued FARTING and TAP DANCING.  The “open-minded” bigots hit Denny with a nine-iron again).

I do not watch AKB48 music videos because I want to look at girls.  I watch like them because they make me deliriously happy with their cute song and dance.

So it goes.

Hi Ho.

I am not a science-fiction writer.

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