Denny Sinnoh's "Akihabara Starlight"

Posts tagged ‘Denny’s Humor’

Maple Forest Seeks Rice Paddy

My employment consists of processing purchase orders and maintaining the application records for an international agricultural chemical fertilizer company. Any writing I do at work is “technical writing” which must be very precise. It is not very creative, and there is no place for humor. Also, the science, journals, technical monographs and trade papers I am required to read are informative, but very dull. I seldom entertain myself at the computer. That’s why I like to occasionally be creative and post articles to WordPress! I also like to read YOUR blog during my lunch hour my dear reader. Your posts are a nice break from the otherwise beaten down day.

Although my trade journal reading is usually mundane, I am sometimes surprised by some of the advertisements and listings in such publications. (The embellishments that a seed drill manufacturer will make for the power of their brand of planter are often highly amusing.)

Last week, I was looking through the “personal interest” section of a periodical and I saw a personal ad that read “Maple Forest seeks Rice Paddy”.

It reads:

Lonely middle-latitude temperate mixed forest, dominantly sugar maple, with minor mixed oak, beech and birch species. Prosperous and stable broadleaf-deciduous biome, but open to new growth patterns. Seeks intimate relationship with recently cultivated tropical or sub-tropical Rice Paddy. Intensive land use relationship is desired. Interested in long-term lowland staple crop production. Possibility of supplemental vegetable growth a plus, but not required. Aerial infrared imagery of my peak vegetation production index is available upon request. Serious inquires only.

(Ahem.) Yes. I think there are some logistics and some harsh climatic realities which must be addressed for such a relationship. I think that if the Maple Forest does find the right Rice Paddy it would probably be a lasting relationship, perhaps because of the forces working against them. Monocots and dicots often make a nice flowering biome, and their pairing may work well.  Maple Forest might feel that he does not have a lot in common with some of the local needle-leaf evergreen forests.

Too many woodland biomes are not long-term compatible, and land cover disruptions are very common. The system seems to be set up against a Maple Forest.  I do so sympathize with the Maple Forest. It is hard for a mixed hardwood forest to find a nice land cover to enjoy biomass production with. He is correct to hold out for an angiosperm environment, even if such environment is from a different climate. Monocots and dicots often make a nice mixed biome, and the pairing might work well.  Some of the regional needle-leaf evergreens complain about it.

Timber land relationships are tough in the modern world, even with the use of the latest Forestry apps and websites. Yes, you have those forests who say they are broad-leaf deciduous, but it turns out they have way too many coniferous species mixed in. The truth is – I don’t care for the cones and needles myself — so I can see why the Maple Forest would be looking elsewhere for biomass. Too often, a woodland will claim to be “upland forest” but will turn out be prone to flooding.  Some of these older woods have serious issues. Many cannot overcome their history of being dominated by some lower-value swamp oaks. Many of these single woodlands are “second growth” who have been clear-cut way too many times. Plus, no one wants to have to put up with the invasive species left from all the previous biomes.

I can see why he would love a Rice Paddy. Their lush dark greens. earthen dams, and irrigation sluices balanced. A softer, welcoming surface. Welcoming, and permeable to depth. The shoots of growth tease her ample production. The power and intensity of her grain.  She is fertile alright. The Maple Forest will wonder: How does she produce so much biomass calories per acre? To the Maple Forest, she puts all those other companion environments from his past to shame. Other forests might tease, and say that he has “paddy fever” but Maple Forest should just shrug that off.

The stillness of her floodplain when at the peak of production is a thing of beauty.  And best of all – she can be double cropped. Oh yeah. Sometimes triple-cropped in a warm year. Wait until the Maple Forest finds out she can support some supplementary aquaculture. The high carbohydrate grain, the mixed vegetables and tubers between fields, and the protein of aquaculture.  God, they are the best. Can a land use be more fantastic than a subtropical Rice Paddy?

That Maple Forest will wonder where Rice Paddy has been all of his century-long growth.  The Rice Paddy is everything that the Maple Forest has ever wanted … and all that he never knew that he wanted. She has awoken xylem flows within his tree trunks that he thought would never flow again.

The Rice Paddy may have to adjust to some of the Maple Forest’s seasonal changes however. They probably first met in early or mid-summer when the Maple Forest is at his most lush and full,  open leaf condition. I will bet that a Rice Paddy has never seen a Maple Forest release its “whirly seeds” on a blustery summer’s day.

His fall color exuberance is followed by the long dormant period, with no leaf production. She might misunderstand. This may be difficult for a subtropical land use to adjust to at first. But don’t worry dear Rice Paddy. This is just the type of cold climate he is adapted to. Your Maple Forest is just taking some down time to harden, and sweeten. He will be back in spring with a gush of syrup production. You just be ready for that, when his sap starts to flow.

Sweet. Yeah, she is going to receive the sweet. So much she might not know what hit her.

Maple Forests and Rice Paddies are just made for each other! Their differences compliment rather than contradict each other. Some of the other biomes will be bitter and jealous of course. Some will laugh at Maple Forest, insult him, and say that he has a subtropical land-use “fetish”. Some landscapes will be envious of Rice Paddy and say she is only after the creation of a new ecotone. Don’t listen to the jealous regions you two. Make the world right for yourselves.

Just keep loving each other kids. Er .. I mean environments.

Starlight: Jesus – look at the time. I have to get back to work … and how did these web pages crop up?

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Denny watches a pretty girl pee.

Readers: This very cool and funky song is merely my suggested music track for you to listen to as you read this post. I mean no disrespect to Mariya. Click and enjoy. Which reminds me …

Whoa. I have not posted on WP for a long time. I am in SO MUCH trouble at work. I need to get caught up on all these agricultural fertilizer reports. Yup, I gave up blogging for a while. I have been  a good employee — keeping my nose to the Moonstone. Look, I am even bringing work home where I can do company work on my own PC!

The work is very boring. and I get distracted so easily by these pop ups. Wait — this looks interesting.  An ad for “KornHub”? Well it must be agricultural then, so I will just click over there and … OH MY GOD!!!

Wait — this is interesting. I don’t usually look at video sites like these (Denny coughs). Besides, there is probably something agricultural in here. Ok … typing “nitrogen” into the search box … and …  Hello.

It says if I click there, I can watch a sexy Asian lady urinate. Oh, no no. I could NOT do that. Really. Not my thing. Look I am not a prude, but I draw the line at bodily functions. I could never watch that. That would be perverted. True, I know that it is only “Number 1” … but still.  I am NOT a pervert. These videos are not for me. I don’t have any fetishes.

Besides, although men’s bodies are disgusting, ladies are perfect. Women’s bodies are beautiful, fragrant works of art.  (Denny momentarily loses touch with reality). Pretty girls don’t PEE! Their little hoo-hoos don’t really make that bad stuff  do they? (Denny in denial) How could this video even exist?

I’m NOT going to watch this!!!

Uh … maybe … unless … maybe YOU want to look, my dear Readers … er .… I mean … this one time would not hurt could it? If you say that it is OK … watching a pretty girl take a pee, I will do it. That does not make me a bad person, right? Right? 

OK then (Denny exhales), here goes. CLICK.

Huh …you know, these urinal-on-the-floor-toilets always seemed weird to me. Japan is otherwise so highly technological – so why is it that some basins look like a hole in the floor? … and OH! … There she is. 

I think she likes me, she looked right at me and smiled. So pretty. Whoa … the panties are down … uh … hoo-boy … well, that answers the “hairy or shaved” question. Mystery solved!.

Wow — she IS vert cute.  Hmmmm … so beautiful in there ... so interesting … she seems like she has good balance. I wonder what led her to film this?

OK, this event should start any minute. (Denny watching, waiting).

It is always entertaining to see up a nice lady’s hoo hoo. There are all these wonderful grooves and folds. Fluids reflecting and refracting.  So Interesting … so very interesting.

Alright … gunna happen soon … (Denny glances at watch).

You know, you can find a lot of meaning, and answers to the big questions in the universe looking in there … I know you will think it strange … but you know what? I think I just saw the answer to a quadratic equation problem that I never finished back in 7th grade math …

… Hmmmm  … still waiting here. It is a nice view and everything, but nothing is happening.

Ha. Penny for your thoughts, dear girl. She is smiling, but she should be thinking about running water. It’s gotta start any second now …

Uh … still waiting. (Denny’s mind wanders) Gee, I wonder how many miles I put on the Volkswagen last week. Darn it — I should go check … I think I am due for an oil change … and OH MY there it goes!!!

So …

Uh huh … OK … right … OK … so … so that is what it looks like. Ahem.

Starlight: I really do need to get back to work.

This is a photo of the famous Kegon Falls in Japan. What?

Special Warm and Hopeful New Year’s Day Greetings from the Butt of Ms. Mayu Watanabe

newyearsgreetingsfrommayusbutt

Ha Ha. Maybe I should call this post “Happy New REAR.”  Ha Ha Ha. Who better than to give you wishful New Year’s Day greetings than the rear end of AKB48 idol Mayu Watanabe? As much as I love Watanabe-san, her butt is so other-worldly cute, that sometimes it seems as if her butt has a personality all of its own.

ok-akb48-mayu-watanabe-22sai-no-kesshin-on-friday-magazine-008

I have translated the butt’s comments from the original Japanese, but as you will see … Mayuyu’s derriere speaks an international language, easily understood by anyone.

Begin butt transmission:

buttofmayu505d75a35e6276b323028d581e3714c8

Mayu’s Butt: “A fresh new year is once again upon us.”

http://www.idolfile.com/

Mayu’s Butt continues: “It is the time to be thankful for the blessings of the past year and to take stock of all our achievements.”

buttofmayu0d081476ca74427e9a7e168c2209f725

The magic tukhus continues: “We relish old memories … but a promising and a fulfilling new year is waiting just for you! Open your arms and behold it with grace and mirth. Grab it … Just grab it!”

buttofmayu2de9f7419e4679ff6dfdfb5b18519a58

More blessings from the bum: “New Year 2017 is a brand new year to start afresh, to start strong, and yet get another chance to do everything we wanted to do this past year …”

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The pretty patootie pontificates:  “The amazing thing with chances is how we get them every year. So, set positive goals and try to be realistic.”

ok-akb48-mayu-watanabe-shogeki-no-pudding-shiri-on-friday-magazine-004

Her cute butt continues: “Hang the wish list up where you can see them every day of the New Year – and continue to be excited for what you can achieve this 2017.”

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Mayuyu’s rear end rages again: “In the meantime, enjoy the fireworks, look forward to those loud and boisterous family dinners, or maybe just have a quiet intimate meal with your loved one.”

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Mayu’s tail, continues the tale: “Let someone you know– or maybe everyone you know – that you remembered them today, and that you value their friendship!”

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The idol’s sweet cheeks conclude: “I hope that the lamps of joy lighten up your year, fill your days with sparkles of joy, and brighten up your life forever and ever.”

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Thank you Butt-of-Mayuyu. You’ve said it all.

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Zero in on her “I need you” moment from a “Heavy Rotation” performance (in available super HD) linked here.

Heh heh … Hoo boy … now where did every body go?.

Starlight: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017 EVERYONE !

See more Mayuyu on my Pinterest board for her LINKED HERE.

Today’s Guest Blogger: Miss Yuki Kashiwagi on “How to avoid groin injuries”.

yuki article tumblr_o39jk0H7w21tqs33yo4_1280

I’ve been feeling the aging pains again today. Instead of a music video, I have asked AKB and NGT48 member Miss Yuki Kashiwagi to fill in. I have translated her article below:

yuki article tumblr_o39jk0H7w21tqs33yo3_1280

Next time she will tell us how to avoid wrist injuries.

Yuki begins:

“Having had strained muscles during my onstage, I can tell you that there is no injury that creates more problems in most aspects of sports or dancing. You sometimes have no clue just how much these muscles were used or abused until you are significantly injured. It can keep an Idol out for weeks while it heals.

I encourage flexibility in the groin area. Stretching is absolutely required, as well as some regular adductor strengthening. Warm up by stretching the groin muscles before exercising. Stretching can increase your range of motion and reduce stiffness and pain. It is also important during the cool-down phase of exercise when your muscles are warm. Increase the intensity and length of  your exercise program gradually.

AKB48 Yuki Kashiwagi Love Yukirin Stretching

As your fitness level improves, you will be able to do more intense dancing without injury.

Wear supportive, well-cushioned shoes for running, aerobics, and walking. A good warm-up is very important: I suggest some stationary cycling, groin stretching, sumo squats, side lunges, and some kneeling pelvic tilts

(Denny edit: Um … I had to look up “kneeling pelvic tilts”)

Strength-building exercise machines should be part of your regular routine. I like ball squeezes. I often use different-size balls, concentric adduction against gravity, cable/elastic standing adduction, or the seated adduction machine.

Use a slide board adductor used with the slide board forward, then the slide board with simultaneous adduction. I spread my legs and bring both together at the same time. Also one-legged lunges are part of my routine.

(Denny’s edit: Yukirin, … we are talking about PREVENTING injury, right?)

Even when not-working out, you can still take preventative measures in your everyday activities. Drink extra water, especially in hot or humid weather. This can help prevent muscle cramps or stiffness.

(Denny’s edit: I can’t tell you the problem I have with stiffness in the morning.)

Use a step stool when reaching for high objects you silly. Try not to stand on chairs or other objects. Never climb stairs with both hands full. Do not strain to lift or carry objects. Get help carrying heavy or awkward objects. I find it easy to get a helper guy to carry my stuff. They are always so enthusiastic!

I hope I have been helpful! Wouldn’t you rather put in some time preventing injury rather spending time backstage waiting for it to heal?”

yuki results

Love, Yukirin – x o xo : )

Thanks Yukirin! Hey, you know when I heard that you were going to be in NGT48, I thought it was a new type of SPORTSCAR!  

Ha. … Ha … wait .. Oh, don’t tell me I’m the only one who thought that …

Starlight:  I would work out “Everyday” if it was with Yuki : )

Good GIF Charlie Brown! These are my favorite members of the AKB48 Family!

Good Grief … I miss the girls. That being said, I still want to share another 16-member “dream team” of my favorite idols. Of course I am going to make lame jokes in the captions. Some of my references are decades old. If you can think of better captions, I look forward to your comments.

Now that Minami Takahasi is about to graduate, there are new additions, and some shake-ups in my lineup. Also, this time, I want to share some moving pictures … Enjoy! .. and please comment — I get lonely fan-boying all by myself.

# Sixteen: Haruka Shimazaki – AKB48

haruka handles the meat giphy

Cooking Challenges? Paruru says that there is NO KIND OF MEAT that she cannot handle!

# Fifteen: Mako Kojima – AKB48

mako loses at mario kart

Ha! Young Kojima-san still cannot beat me in “Mario Kart”.  HA!!! I hit her with a green shell, just as she was about to cross the finish line!

# Fourteen: Kei Jonishi – NMB48

kei tumblr_mndzb8FJt31rarpgro2_250

Denny: Oh, no! … Don’t say that routine AGAIN Kei …

Kei: “Jonshi??? Well, my name is Kei Keicchi Jonishi … you can call me RAY,  you can call me KEI, you can call me KEICCHI, you can call me K-CHI, you can call me J-SHI, you can call me SUNNY, you can call me KJ … but yas doesn’t have to call me Jonshi.”

# Thirteen: Haruka Nakagawa – JKT48

haruka toothbrush run 2006

If you just got up five minutes earlier, Harugon, you would not be late for practice!!!

# Twelve: Miyuki Watanabe – NMB48

milky stockings tumblr_nj8whjt1WT1ti8qgxo1_250

It does not look like it is ANYONE’S secret anymore Milky-chan!

# Eleven: Jurina Matsui – SKE48

jurina matsui is al bundy

Jurina, take it from AL BUNDY: Graduate with a degree. You do not want to wind up selling ladies’ shoes!

# Ten: Yui Yokoyama – AKB48

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The last thing TakaMina saw, the moment before she graduated!

# Nine: Haruna Kojima – AKB48

haruna kojima bouncing

Far be it for me to criticize anyone’s religion KojiHaru … You go ahead and say your nightly prayers the way that you want to.

# Eight: Sayaka Yamamoto – NMB48

sayanee fixing hair

Your hair? … No Sayanee, I do not think anyone noticed that your HAIR was slightly out of place.

# Seven: Minami Minegishi – AKB48

someone told miichan this was a greeting1

No Miichan!!! … Darn it, I am going to SMACK that guy who told Miichan that this was the proper way that American women greet each other at formal U.S. embassy meetings.

# Six: Aika Ota – HKT48

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Lovetan — Jim Morrison called, he says NOT to sing it like that if you want to sound “deep”. That is heavy, Love-tan … heavy.

# Five: Mayu Wantanabe – AKB48

mayu finds scientology

… Well Miss Watanabe, as we will be sitting next to each other for more than nine hours on this car drive …  you go right ahead and tell me everything I need to know about Scientology.

# Four: Sakura Miyawaki – HKT48

sakura karate part

What went wrong when Sakura-tan auditioned for “The Karate Kid 5” …

# Three: Haruka Kodama – HKT48

kodama nestles quick

Harrupi looked like she COULD NOT BELIEVE IT — when I showed her how “Nestles’ Quick” works!

# Two: Yuki Kashiwagi – NGT48

yuki kashiwagi traditional tuber dish

NO! … What is WRONG with you people? Don’t you know that ground up tororo root is a traditional Japanese food. NO! I was NOT thinking that … I wouldn’t … I like Yukirin, … oh God, NO … I never …

# One: Iwasa Misaki – AKB48!!! … as if you would have any doubt!

Sorry that I got carried away with that confetti snow Wasamin!

Starlight: Four decades of Pop Cultural references!

 

 

Image

See the #fireworks I created by blogging on #WordPressDotCom. My 2015 annual report.

I have not seen Wasamin this excited -- since I found that coupon for a discount of 50 yen off wax paper!

I have not seen Wasamin this excited — since I found that coupon for the discount of 50 yen off wax paper!

See the fireworks Denny Sinnoh created by blogging on WordPress.com. Check out their 2015 annual report.

Source: See the #fireworks I created by blogging on #WordPressDotCom. My 2015 annual report.

A song? Of course we cannot end without a song. Remember this great moment from Halloween?

Starlight: (gulp)

Favorite members of the AKB48 Family – “Dog Days” edition.

I could have just said “August” edition. The phrase “dog days” often refers to the end of summer. The star Sirius (the dog star) — is visible in late summer. This time is often the hottest time of year in many climates. Hot. Serious.

Right …  let us get right to cute photos of my favorite members! This time I will present my list in descending order, just to make it that much more suspenseful. Plus, there have been a few “shake-ups” since my last list.

My 16 member “dream team” would be …

16. Kei Jonishi

Kei Jonishi Trench Coat

You are correct Kei …  “It is always darkest … just before they turn on the lights!

15. Yui Yokoyama

yui-yokoyama-at-the-prison

No, Yuihan — Rick, Carl and Dale had already left the prison LAST year.

14. Minami Minegishi

miichan is kooking

I said “make that EXTRA VIRGIN”, Miichan. If you are going to cook authentic Italian, make sure that the olive oil is extra virgin

13. Haruka Shimazaki

paruru not wendy

Don’t look so sad Paruru, no one was more disappointed than I was when we found out you were turned down to be the new symbol for “Wendy’s”.

12. Minami Takahashi

takamina in bath

Every kid knows that a bath is not any fun unless you have something to play with!

11. Haruka Nakagawa

Haruka-with-bike-JKT48

Whew. I am also very happy your bicycle seat was returned Haruka. Who on Earth could have taken it? Just glad it’s back!

10. Jurina Matsui

jurina with umbrella

Ok, so when the Witch comes out of the little German house, that means it will be CLEAR … but when Jurina comes out, that means that it will RAIN? I’m OK with that.

9. Miyuki Watanabe

miyuki molting

(Denny wispering and imitating David Attenborough) We are in luck. Few biologists have been fortunate enough to catch a wild Milky during her “molting” phase.

8. Haruna Kojima

haruna kojima blood or crip

Make up your mind Kojima san … are you in the “bloods” or the “crips”?

7. Sayaka Yamamoto

sayaka hides the key

Guess where Sayanee hid the key to the iron gate she is waiting behind.

6. Sakura Miyawaki

sakura big dango

How can I join the “Big Dango Family” Sakura-tan?

5. Aika Ota

lovetan scooter

Can I park my scooter at your playhouse Love-tan?

4. Mayu Watanabe

mayu gets the idea

This happens every time Mayuyu gets an idea!

3. Haruka Kodama

haruka kodama letters

Ah, Haruka Kodama, brought to you by the letter “N” … or is that a “W” … what letter are you trying to make again Haruppi?

2. Yuki Kashiwagi

diary of yuki kashiwagi is not winpy

“Wimpy Kid?” … not if it is the diary of Yukirin!

Now for my #1, my oshi … the champion from Chiba … the kami in kimono … the empress of enka …

1. Iwasa Misaki

wasamin throws out first pitch

Oddly, Wasamin’s ERA is lower than the entire staff of the Seattle Mariners!

Sing for me Misaki-san.

I (heart) you Wasamin, and all the girls! Thanks for a great summer of music videos!

Starlight: Only 8.6 light years to Sirius, but Fanboy love travels faster than the speed of light.

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