Maple Forest Seeks Rice Paddy

My employment consists of processing purchase orders and maintaining the application records for an international agricultural chemical fertilizer company. Any writing I do at work is “technical writing” which must be very precise. It is not very creative, and there is no place for humor. Also, the science, journals, technical monographs and trade papers I am required to read are informative, but very dull. I seldom entertain myself at the computer. That’s why I like to occasionally be creative and post articles to WordPress! I also like to read YOUR blog during my lunch hour my dear reader. Your posts are a nice break from the otherwise beaten down day.

Although my trade journal reading is usually mundane, I am sometimes surprised by some of the advertisements and listings in such publications. (The embellishments that a seed drill manufacturer will make for the power of their brand of planter are often highly amusing.)

Last week, I was looking through the “personal interest” section of a periodical and I saw a personal ad that read “Maple Forest seeks Rice Paddy”.

It reads:

Lonely middle-latitude temperate mixed forest, dominantly sugar maple, with minor mixed oak, beech and birch species. Prosperous and stable broadleaf-deciduous biome, but open to new growth patterns. Seeks intimate relationship with recently cultivated tropical or sub-tropical Rice Paddy. Intensive land use relationship is desired. Interested in long-term lowland staple crop production. Possibility of supplemental vegetable growth a plus, but not required. Aerial infrared imagery of my peak vegetation production index is available upon request. Serious inquires only.

(Ahem.) Yes. I think there are some logistics and some harsh climatic realities which must be addressed for such a relationship. I think that if the Maple Forest does find the right Rice Paddy it would probably be a lasting relationship, perhaps because of the forces working against them. Monocots and dicots often make a nice flowering biome, and their pairing may work well.  Maple Forest might feel that he does not have a lot in common with some of the local needle-leaf evergreen forests.

Too many woodland biomes are not long-term compatible, and land cover disruptions are very common. The system seems to be set up against a Maple Forest.  I do so sympathize with the Maple Forest. It is hard for a mixed hardwood forest to find a nice land cover to enjoy biomass production with. He is correct to hold out for an angiosperm environment, even if such environment is from a different climate. Monocots and dicots often make a nice mixed biome, and the pairing might work well.  Some of the regional needle-leaf evergreens complain about it.

Timber land relationships are tough in the modern world, even with the use of the latest Forestry apps and websites. Yes, you have those forests who say they are broad-leaf deciduous, but it turns out they have way too many coniferous species mixed in. The truth is – I don’t care for the cones and needles myself — so I can see why the Maple Forest would be looking elsewhere for biomass. Too often, a woodland will claim to be “upland forest” but will turn out be prone to flooding.  Some of these older woods have serious issues. Many cannot overcome their history of being dominated by some lower-value swamp oaks. Many of these single woodlands are “second growth” who have been clear-cut way too many times. Plus, no one wants to have to put up with the invasive species left from all the previous biomes.

I can see why he would love a Rice Paddy. Their lush dark greens. earthen dams, and irrigation sluices balanced. A softer, welcoming surface. Welcoming, and permeable to depth. The shoots of growth tease her ample production. The power and intensity of her grain.  She is fertile alright. The Maple Forest will wonder: How does she produce so much biomass calories per acre? To the Maple Forest, she puts all those other companion environments from his past to shame. Other forests might tease, and say that he has “paddy fever” but Maple Forest should just shrug that off.

The stillness of her floodplain when at the peak of production is a thing of beauty.  And best of all – she can be double cropped. Oh yeah. Sometimes triple-cropped in a warm year. Wait until the Maple Forest finds out she can support some supplementary aquaculture. The high carbohydrate grain, the mixed vegetables and tubers between fields, and the protein of aquaculture.  God, they are the best. Can a land use be more fantastic than a subtropical Rice Paddy?

That Maple Forest will wonder where Rice Paddy has been all of his century-long growth.  The Rice Paddy is everything that the Maple Forest has ever wanted … and all that he never knew that he wanted. She has awoken xylem flows within his tree trunks that he thought would never flow again.

The Rice Paddy may have to adjust to some of the Maple Forest’s seasonal changes however. They probably first met in early or mid-summer when the Maple Forest is at his most lush and full,  open leaf condition. I will bet that a Rice Paddy has never seen a Maple Forest release its “whirly seeds” on a blustery summer’s day.

His fall color exuberance is followed by the long dormant period, with no leaf production. She might misunderstand. This may be difficult for a subtropical land use to adjust to at first. But don’t worry dear Rice Paddy. This is just the type of cold climate he is adapted to. Your Maple Forest is just taking some down time to harden, and sweeten. He will be back in spring with a gush of syrup production. You just be ready for that, when his sap starts to flow.

Sweet. Yeah, she is going to receive the sweet. So much she might not know what hit her.

Maple Forests and Rice Paddies are just made for each other! Their differences compliment rather than contradict each other. Some of the other biomes will be bitter and jealous of course. Some will laugh at Maple Forest, insult him, and say that he has a subtropical land-use “fetish”. Some landscapes will be envious of Rice Paddy and say she is only after the creation of a new ecotone. Don’t listen to the jealous regions you two. Make the world right for yourselves.

Just keep loving each other kids. Er .. I mean environments.

Starlight: Jesus – look at the time. I have to get back to work … and how did these web pages crop up?