Anna + Rina + Tragedy + Time + those “Big Butts”

Dear Mr. Akimoto-san,

I want to first communicate my support and best wishes to all members of the AKB family.  It has been several weeks since the infamous “saw-attack” on Anna and Rina by that crazy person at the Handshake Event.  I was of course very dismayed by the news, and I hope that Anna and Rina have now made a full recovery.  I hope that they have taken enough time to heal themselves both physically and emotionally.  Enough time has passed now, and I finally want to express my feelings.

I hope that the attack will not keep fans from meeting AKB members in person. At first, I was concerned that too many shows and events would be cancelled.  I hoped that security will be enhanced, in order to prevent a potentially worse situation, or copycat behavior.  I understand that this has been done. I am glad that the members affected took some time.

In America, we have an expression that says “comedy: is tragedy plus time”.  Meaning that over time, we may laugh off any sad event.

I have an idea! As part of the therapy for the girls, (assuming  enough time has passed), I would like to see Anna and Rina dress up as security guards and police the lineups at Handshake Events.  Really, this might be one way they can mentally get back to interacting with fans. Have them randomly go up to an otaku waiting in like, and give them the “bad cop” treatment.  Drag an innocent guy out of line, and have Anna and Rina use Police Billy-clubs to force them to go up against a wall and “SPREAD ‘EM”.  They could then “search” the fan, and pat them down.  Really, I think that any AKB fan would not mind at all.  Maybe a little “strip search” if they are game … and it would be a fun part of the show … AND be good therapy for the girls.  They would feel more confident about meting the fans, and they would feel more empowered.  Put Anna and Rina in charge.

You could use a “sexy” police or security guard outfit similar to what Yuko wore in the “Gingham Check” music video.

Careful, Yuko.  Something might go off.

Of course, you would still have your real, regular plain-clothes security, but having the members do some of the “policing” might send a message that indeed – the girls are back … and now they are more than OK.

One other thing I would like to get off my chest, is that ever since the attack, I have had to put up with a lot of “big butts” — or asinine comments from non-fans.  As you know, there are a lot of AKB haters out there.  Mostly these people are just jealous.  After the attack on Anna and Rina, I read so many blogs that started  “I don’t listen to AKB48, but …” and then they would proceed to some rant about Japan’s patriarchal society, exploitation of women,  etc. , ad nauseam, wanka-wanka-wanka.  So many unattractive women wrote about how they hate the AKB girls, I lost count.  So jealous.  So very jealous and foul of heart …

Many of these “big butts” hate your songs and the girls, when they themselves like very shallow, boorish entertainment. AKB48 is just not “hard rock” enough.  I even had a (yuk!) rap-music fan criticize AKB singing.  Really?  A mind so polluted that it likes America’s worst export?  They of course have no credibility.  Also, many “hard-rockers” do not like AKB pop, but they like these “edgy” gothic-rock groups that look like, and sing like, they want to kill their own mothers.  These people — the rap and crap of America — are just too far gone to appreciate the sweet happiness of the AKB48 family.  I will not listen to these “big butts.”  If they like idiot music, then they are too stupid too recognize the sweetness and fun of the 48 family anyway.  These are uncouth people and they prove it. They think that they are “hip” and “cool” but all they do is add more unpleasantness and pain into the world every day. You and the girls add more fun and beauty every day.

Here in America, thugs and ill-mannered louts are praised.  While — apparently — innocence, beauty and art are now considered to be deviant and thus worthy of scorn.  I apologize for American musical tastes, its popular culture, and its bloggers.  I bow to you sir,

Yours truly,

Denny Sinnoh